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The Paradox of Shame – Part I
Shame has been a constant theme throughout my healing, but I have found it to be really dominant as I have begun to risk more and live more fully. When I was recovering, I finally realized how ruled I...
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The Paradox of Shame – Part II
Greetings, gentle readers, thank you for your patience in waiting for the followup. This is the second half of a post started in The Paradox of Shame – Part I. The level of shame and embarrassment...
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It’s not really about my mom
Don’t want to leave everyone in suspense but between my schedule and the fact that I am in the midst of trying to understand what is going on inside of me, this will be brief (ok, admittedly, brief is...
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Disruption and Rage Part II
TW*** CSA, rage and really bad language For the first part, see Disruption and Rage Part I. NOTE: I have really appreciated everyone reading and all the supportive comments. I am planning on replying...
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The Repair Part I
I am back with the promised account of my last session. This post is the first of two (it got REALLY long). It was a very long, very intense session, so I’ll do my best to describe what happened. As in...
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So, how am I doing?
Cat’s Meow (of Living while Healing. If you haven’t read her yet, do so. She writes with incredible honesty and insight.) asked how I was doing in a comment. I started to answer her but it got so long,...
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My Core of Shame
Greetings gentle readers, I have been doing very intense work lately in therapy, mainly centered around shame. A deep, excoriating shame provoked when I go anywhere near talking about my body or my...
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Ambivalence, thy name is mother
I am feeling… ambivalent. It is my mom’s birthday tomorrow, her 78th. We have been estranged for over a year since my birthday last March. Long story, which I have told elsewhere, but she was given...
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Existential Freefall – Part I
I was going to name this post “Existential Freefall or What I’ve Been Trying to Remember for 20 years (Well, 50 Really)” but that seemed a bit unwieldy, even for me, so I went with the shorter version....
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Freedom, A Cool Wind That Burns Your Face – Part I
Tiny Tom:I’m frightened! Bobby: As well you should be. Freedom is scary. It’s a blast of cool wind that burns your face to wake you up. – Run, Freedom, Run from Urinetown the Musical Greetings gentle...
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